What do you do with your shopping cart?

Call me crazy, but I think that I can size up a person based on a shopping cart. "How?" you may ask. Very simple. People go shopping for groceries, clothing or a combination of the two. Naturally they take their stuff to their car in a shopping cart. They put the stuff in the car and then the cart remains empty. Some people are decent human beings and put their cart in the place in each row of cars that house the carts. Others just leave it in between cars or in their own spot in a corner. I assume they do this because they are too lazy to walk a few feet to put their cart in the proper place. The other reason I can think of is that they are in a rush and can't take the minute to put it back. I don't understand these people. Why do they do it? Do people think when they are making this decision? It is either they walk the few feet and take a minute or so of their time, or they just leave it there and skip all that. I guess I understand now.

There is only one problem with this. These people do not consider how it effects others. First, there are the people who want to park in their spot. The cart is in the corner and the car that wants to pull in cannot pull in because the cart is blocking half the spot. The person pulling in has to get out of their car and move it and then get back in their car and pull up. That is the same amount of time that the first person could have taken to put the cart in the proper place. Second, there is the shopping cart itself. Sometimes when you put a cart somewhere it stops for a few seconds but a wind can blow it and move it. Sometimes this causes the cart to bump into a car and scratch it. The person who left the cart there, is responsible. It may be hard to prove, but ultimately they are accountable. Last but not least, the person who collects the carts must be taken into consideration. The person has to walk around the parking lot collecting carts from different collections as it is. Now, they have to collect random carts from different parts of the parking lot. This doubles their workload. On a hot summer day that could be really annoying. If the person who left the cart there in the first place was doing the job of collecting shopping carts, would they want people to leave them in random spots and not in the assigned places? I do not think so. So why do people do it? Why don't people think before they do something? It doesn't make sense. This is how I can tell what a person is really like. If they put their cart back, they are considerate of others and actually think about their actions. People who leave their carts in their spot are the opposite. I am sure that there are other places in life that people can apply this logic to. Please think about your actions. Next time you go shopping, what will you do with your cart??

One’s purpose in life

 

As the school year comes to an end, people will be facing many choices. Some will be trying to figure what they are doing for the summer. Some soon to be graduates will be thinking of what to do for the summer and next year and probably beyond that. How do people decide what they want to do with their life? Some people have dreams from the time they were five that they want to be a doctor or a rabbi or pick a profession. Some people figure out what they want to do in college. They either suddenly come to a realization or they like a class they take and then take more classes and enjoy that subject. Those people are the lucky ones. I wish I was one of those people. It is very nerve-racking to not know what you want to do with your life when you are graduating and you have to support yourself. Well I guess there are those that have parents that will support them. I feel bad for those people because what will they do when their parents money runs out? I will not discuss that right now.

Some of my frustration with trying to figure out what to do with my life has to do with Jewish day school education and some has to do with YU in particular. I will start with day school education. Throughout my Jewish education I have heard numerous times for people not to sell themselves short and how they have so much potential. What the hell does that mean? If Michael Jordan would have wanted to play baseball instead of basketball, would he have been as good as he was? Of course not. If someone doesn't want to do something, then they don't have potential for it. And the story that rebbeim like to tell about living up to potential is the Netziv story. I think most people know what I am talking about, but just in case one is not familiar with it, I will tell it. The Netziv was not such a good student and was not doing well in school. One night his parents were talking and they said they will send him to a carpenter to be an apprentice and he will make a living that way. He heard this and his parents crying and he said to himself that he was going to try harder. He told this story over when he was older at a siyum (I forgot for what). He said that when he would go before Hashem, He would ask "where is the Haamek Davar(the Netziv's work on chumash)?" or "What about all the Gemara's you were supposed to finish?" The Netziv was happy that he lived up to his potential. The question that always bothered me about this story is maybe God is going to ask where all the shtenders and benches he was supposed to build. Why does the Netziv assume he fulfilled his potential? I understand that as long as we are the best Jews we can be, that is all that God asks from us. How do we know exactly what we are supposed to do? Should one be a rebbe or a doctor? Maybe he should be a businessman and support a guy in kollel? Every rebbe I had told this story at least once. Just because one person made a right decision doesn't mean everyone will. Why don't we hear stories about people not living up to their potential? It makes it seem like the Netziv's story is the norm. I doubt it is. Why does Jewish education place so much guilt on the students? That is why I think it is harder for a religious Jew to make a career choice, than a secular American. They don't have the pressure of guilt on their mind.

So if anyone has input on what I should do, please let me know. As always, I welcome all comments.

The oxymoron of frummies

Why is it that people put on a show? It happens in every aspect of life. People will show that they have more money than they actually have, buy a house they can't afford(but that is for another blog), or dress in a different way than that is representative of themselves. Why do people do it? I think the main reason why people do it is because it makes them feel better about themselves. There was even a movie about it, "Keeping With the Steins." It is true about physical things and spiritual things just as much. People think it is a contest to see who the frummest is. If they aren't so frum, then they will put on a show to seem like they are frummer than they are. I have noticed this a lot recently. People are not honest about how frum they are. Also, I've noticed recently that people who pretend they are frum will be a lot quicker to judge those who aren't as frum as they are. It is easy for them to do so, because the not so frum person doesn't put on a show. The thing is that these people don't realize how stupid they are. They are always thinking about what people will think and about looking frum that they don't actually fix the things that they are doing wrong. It is so pathetic. Yes there are some things which are halacha and some things are just made up. There are levels of halacha and people worry about the external things and not what really matters. People just do things in public to look like they are frum which are really machmir opinions on a minhag, but when they are in private they don't keep real halacha. I just don't get why people care what others think. That means they are letting other people control their lives. That is a little sad. Unfortunately, this mentality is so prevalent in the orthodox community. I do not have statistics, but I have just been noticing so much more. As I graduate and enter the real world, I see it more and more. I will start talking about girls now because I don't really care so much about boys because I am not marrying one and I don't look for this stuff. Girls think the frummer they look, the better guy they will get. I believe that is actually totally false. The problem is that they will end up with someone who is just as big a faker as they are. Their boyfriend won't tell them that they miss minyan and its just all a charade. I guess it works because they are both fakers and that is what makes them compatible. If that girl just worked on being actually frum, she would be much better off. Same goes for the guy as well. Let me share some examples with you.
1- Friends of mine have told me that while getting dressed in the bunkhouses of Camp HASC, girls will ask if an outfit looks frum enough. Really?!? Wear whatever the heck is comfortable!!! I believe this story because...
2- A counselor in my bunkhouse in HASC asked if he looked frum enough it what he was wearing. This I heard with my own two ears. Unfortunately HASC is where a lot of this fake frumness happens. They do so much good there and it is thrown all away by this facade.
3- A girl just got facebook and friended me. It took me a while to figure it out because her name was spelled backwards. I asked her why her name was spelled backwards and why she wouldn't put up a picture of herself in her profile. Her response was that she didnt want graduate schools to see her profile. First of all, there are privacy settings. You can control who sees you and what they see. Second, if that is why, don't get facebook at all!!!!!!
4- I asked a girl who I thought was pretty frum if she wanted her husband to learn (I don't mean in kollel. I mean like night seder after dinner). She said aboslutely not. I was shocked to say the least. I just don't get it. What is the point of you doing all your frum stuff if you don't want your family to do what is actually important?!?!?!
5- A guy can make an inappropriate joke and a girl will laugh at it a lot and then when she is done laughing, she will crticize the guy for making the joke. If you think it is that wrong to begin with, you shouldn't have laughed in the first place. That is mixed messages.

An example of someone owning up to themselves is a girl went out to a bar and had some drinks. She got drunk and had some clean fun after. She enjoyed that night. She realized she had fun but it was a mistake and she doesn't do it anymore.

I think a huge part of this issue is the Israel seminary experience. Girls are talked to so much about what they wear and how they look and not how to think for themselves. It is totally useless. They should be taught how to mesh the ideals of Israel with the reality of America. I know this is a huge issue in Orthodoxy and I do not think this will change it. I just hope that it will get people to think for themselves.

Disclaimer: While the above stories are true, if they are about you and you are upset that I wrote it, then it is not about you. If you are upset because you think I am wrong please comment. Also, I obviously do think I am right in all my points. I would love for people to comment and poke holes in my arguement, so I can refine and correct it. Thanks so much for reading and if you have any topics you would like me to write about please let me know.